In this article I would like to share some perspectives and practices which will help you to healthily receive as part of being in your feminine polarity.
Life and Creation themselves depend on a healthy and polarised, or magnetically attracted, interplay between divine masculine and divine feminine energies. This principle operates at vast, cosmic levels, and plays all the way down the levels of reality down into our every day lives and relationships.
The eternal attraction and dance between masculine and feminine depends on their contrast, which like the sides of a magnet, allows for deep and lasting attraction and energy and energy exchange, which ultimately is creative in nature.
Our most immediate cosmic embodiment of the divine masculine and feminine is the Sun and the Earth and how together these great beings come together to create life and the playground for humanity’s evolution. Our cosmic parents are wonderful example of the receptive feminine taking in the divine light and heat of the masculine and transforming this in myriad ways into the life we know on this planet. If we wish to build a new reality, and new life, and a new Earth experience, we can learn from this example.
How can we as women move into our healthy feminine polarity and attract a healthy masculine energy into our lives?
One of the great challenges that women face today is that many of us have been taught or conditioned to be in our masculine, rather than feminine energy.
The first wave of feminism, which brought us incredible and much needed levels of educational, social, economic and political emancipation, also had its shadow side. It brought us into a new level of power by bringing us further into our masculine energy, or our “Yang side”.
Being in our “Yang (masculine) side” has us in the energy of doing, striving, controlling fighting, defending our space and our being. It allows us to achieve great things but often in ways that ultimately exhaust us as we are not operating from our natural feminine energy.
I learned the hard way how being in the masculine can be unsustainable. After around 5 years of building my own business as a separated mother of a young child, I had a total burnout, and had to literally press the pause button for a year in order to recover from having striven so hard to build up my body of work and share it into the world. Ironically, my business was all about healing our feminine energy in the Womb.
Despite the wisdom I “knew”, I was still embodying an unsustainable “pushing and trying” energy and it took this burnout for me to re-program my way of doing things and consciously bring in a balanced approach to my business where I waited for things to come to me, instead of pushing myself out into the world. More on this allowing later!
On the flip side, men have been conditioned to somehow feel ashamed of their masculine qualities and impulses. They have been taught that being too strong puts them in the energy of the Tyrant, or the overly dominating masculine, a shadow aspect of patriarchy. As a response, many men, particularly spiritual and awakening men who want to be “good”, will move into a “Yin side”, or feminine quality.
This can lead to a collapse of their masculine impulses – all written about eloquently by my Beloved, Simon Bjoergvin Veredon in the post that accompanies this one from the masculine perspective.
There is nothing inherently wrong with either women moving into their “Yang” or masculine energy, or men moving into their “Yin” or feminine energy. Each individual needs to find their balance between the two.
Restoring “Polarity” between the masculine and feminine
When men are afraid to be masculine, and women don’t know how to be in their feminine, no-one is occupying a decisive “energy”. This ends up is eroding the POLARITY between male and female. Polarity is the basis for attraction, and creative and sexual spice between two individuals. If as a woman, you are not in your feminine polarity, you will not attract the strong masculine energy that you might actually really be craving.
If your feminine energy is collapsed and your masculine energy strong, you might end up always attracting “collapsed” or “feminised” men or “weaklings”. These men might come to depend on you and are unable to show up as equal to you. This is the dilemma of many powerful modern day women, who feel that they cannot find a mate who equals them in power. It is easy to build up a narrative around this such as “there are no good men out there”, and “men just have not caught up with us yet”.
However, there is an important space where women and those in the feminine need to step up and take responsibility. If you are a women and overly your masculine energy, you will attract feminine energy or at the best, weak or collapsed masculine energy. Period.
It is a matter of magnetism, and it is happening at an energetic level whether you like it or not. The masculine lover, partner, friend, business colleague that you’d like to attract won’t show up in your reality field. Believe, me, I know. This was my dilemma for many years and why my past relationships did not last.
So, in order for a healthy, powerful masculine energy to arrive in your life, you do need to step into your healthy, balanced feminine energy.
How do you do this? Feminine energy has many aspects, and I don’t have space to cover all of them here. So there is one feminine quality I will address here: it’s receptivity – or the ability to receive.
One of the great principles of feminine polarity and creation is receptivity.
Receptivity is a beautiful quality in men and in women (let’s remember that in a balanced individual, both masculine and feminine qualities are present). It is the ability to fully receive the love and expressions of love, of another (for example, embraces, sexual desire and arousal.
It is the ability to receive the material aspects of life into oneself – material riches, gifts, food food and nourishment.
It is the ability to receive the ideas, impulses and truths of another – and be able to lend open ears and heart to these.
Being able to receive also enables you to healthily embody the creative cycle of receiving, transforming, creating and giving. If you cannot allow yourself receive, then an important part of your creative cycle is blocked and your attempts to create and give will lead you to burnout and exhaustion on all levels.
You will also be unable to attract a healthy masculine energy, that at its core, wants to follow its divine impulse to give to the feminine – whether this be love, sexual energy and more.
Let’s examine for a moment, why it might be difficult for women to receive:
First,many of us hold a deep conditioning that “it is better to give than to receive”. We can often feel that there is a virtue in “giving it all” and paying little attention to receiving. We can feel a confusion between being open to receive and being passive or even lazy, and a mind-set that says “surely in order to receive I should be doing something to deserve it”. We don’t realize that RECEIVING IS A CRUCIAL PART OF THE CREATIVE CYCLE and what keeps us in our healthy creative feminine polarity with the masculine.
Second many of us are closed to receiving because, whether in this lifetime or others, and on collective level, we have been invaded. Our collective experiences of sexual wounding, trauma, and exploitation means that many of us have shut down our capacity to receive, as being open to receive might by associated by us at an unconscious level with being vulnerable to abuse, invasion and wounding of our sensitive feminine core.
Third, we may hold traumatised or wounded templates and stories about what the masculine is when he has something to give. See above for the description of the powerful masculine being associated with the Tyrant. We can associate a strong, giving force with a dominating force. Therefore we would rather “hold our own” than submit to receive dominating and toxic energy that we don’t trust.
The sad truth of all these inner reasons is that when we give them power, we are actually blocking off our receptivity of all the good, divine, and loving masculine energy that is available to us in the world.
Building receptivity as a way to heal our feminine energy
Given that we may have found it difficult to receive, some of us need to consciously re-build this capacity. We can do this first by questioning why we may have shut down, and healing any stories about it not being safe to receive.
Then we can use our intention to restore our energetic and emotional capacity for being receptive. This is a beautiful aspect to work with and can create immediate shifts in our lives – where previously un-imaginable gifts, people and opportunities show up as we finally become open to them.
Starting to receive safely from the Mother Earth
One of the ways in which we can move into the principle and practice of receptivity is by starting with our relationship to the Mother Earth. Most of us experience the Earth as a safe, warm and nurturing presence, so we can start with this.
Our true nature is to enjoy a beautiful, rich cascading flow of energy and love exchange with our planet. This opens us up to a deep level of trust where we come to realize that what our Mother Earth wants to do above all is to fill our lives with the abundance that is in fact our birth-right as her children.
We can consciously plug into the Earth through our Wombs in order to experience ourselves receiving from the embodiment of the divine feminine. This practice forms part of my 8 Week Online Womb Healing Course.
When we heal these old and wounded patterns and energetically re-plug into Mother Earth, we can start to allow ourselves to trust that we can receive safely and openly an energy that is for our highest good
Calling in the King – receiving a safe, sacred masculine energy
Now we can begin to move our awareness and receptivity in order to receive masculine energy into us. We can do this with an energy practice I refer to as “Calling in the King” where we tune into the very pure energy frequency of the mature divine masculine, and feel this within the space of our bodies as a real, embodied experience that becomes a reference point for our lives.
We can allow ourselves to surrender and allow this energy in, to be held by the energy of the King, to feel his love flowing into us, to feel that he is supporting and caring for us, to feel that he is keeping us safe.
This creates a new, felt and embodied reference point for what it is to receive masculine energy into us. I teach King energy work to my Womb Practitioners so that they can hold a space for their clients to receive it into them.
We can then move into a trust of our own receptivity and re-write narratives around the masculine either having nothing to give, or having only wounded and toxic energy to give. These narratives don’t actually help anyone and keep us in a conditioned state of helplessness or resignation. While we hold them, we can’t let in this amazing light.
When we come into divine sexuality, we can eventually experience a healed masculine lingam (penis) as pure masculine light shining into us and bringing us untold pleasure and healing. This is the gift that I have started to receive since coming into relationship with my Beloved.